Out of Context D&D Quotes

This is a blog for out of context D&D quotes. We take submissions. Not just from D&D. Feel free to submit quotes from all your table top RPG sessions!

Sorcerer: Let’s do a good cop bad cop deal.

Ranger: Alright, I’m game.

Oracle: This may be more effective if the half-orc isn’t the good cop.

GO AWAY, I’M NAKED.

—Our fighter, locking himself in another room to hide his lycanthropy from our priest and paladin.

The Cake is A Lie

Ewok Scoundrel - I just need to know how big a cake I should bring to the station.

Officer - ….enough to feed 15 people should be fine.

- Party thief trying to find out how many officers there were

GM: “You can’t interrogate someone you don’t share a language with.”

Enforcer: “Everyone speaks ‘I-want-to-keep-my-toes.’”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a gargantuan-sized mess to clean up, and it’s dark as balls here.

"Damnit, Westley!"

- The half-dragon paladin any time the party’s drow rogue does anything

Clerics are just divine-pact Warlocks.

—The Mage

Lawful Good Dracomancer: I rolled a 19 on Thievery to unlock the chains?

DM: Yeah you free Orion from his chains.

LG Dracomancer: Oh. Cool. I’ve… never done that before.

Barbarian: Welcome to the world of Neutral Good.

LG Dracomancer: *whimpers*

In the book…

"You shot a girl in the book."

"How was I supposed to know there was a girl’s soul trapped in the book?  It was bound in human skin and she tried to touch me!"

Druid: welcome to goodberry home of the goodberry