Out of Context D&D Quotes

This is a blog for out of context D&D quotes. We take submissions. Not just from D&D. Feel free to submit quotes from all your table top RPG sessions!

Hecate, I call on you…

…who took my drugs? - our witch, using his magic dagger to find out who robbed him in his sleep 

"The paladin notices everyone else is confused at the concept of ‘family’."

"Oh right, I’m among player characters."

"Y’all mother fuckers need Torag."

Cleric, after bashing a gnoll’s head in with a Morning Star: Have you heard the good news?

Smokey the bear is having none of your shit today, Jack.

—DM after the sorcerer almost set a forest on fire. While fighting a bear.

"Please hold… Your dungeon is very important to us…"

You’re pretty popular at the moment. You should do the cool thing and pee in a keg.

This is fun. I’ve never had a party start out drunk before!

—Our DM during our first session

I’m not evil, I’m good impaired!

"I hate occult bullshit, quote me on that."
-The Magus